Once, the Minister of Finance, pale as death, appeared on television and declared:
-The financial crisis will not affect us. Because. I tell you for sure.
The people who know a lot about official statements matted silently and went to buy salt, matches and sugar.
The next day on TV confused Minister of Trade and said:
-Stocks of bread and essentials allow us to proudly claim that hunger and a shortage of goods do not threaten us. Here are the numbers.
-Oh! - said the population and bought more flour and cereals.
The Minister of Agriculture danced on the podium for credibility and said joyfully:
-An unprecedented harvest! Hope for export! We are reborn! The bins are cracking!
-In even how! - the population was horrified and ran to convert savings into foreign currency.
-Real estate prices will fall! To each student in a penthouse! Soon! - the Minister of Construction blurted out without frowning.
-What is it, huh? - the population howled and ran to buy kerosene, kerosene lamps, firewood and coal.
-The modern army on a contract basis. Tomorrow already. And the grenades of the new system. In the world there are none. - the Minister of Defense said solidly. - Well, no problems, have a lot of money. Reserves, reserves and generally surplus.
-Mom! … - the population squeaked and began to dig dugouts.
-Everything’s OK! You understand?! COOL!!! - inspired the President. - We could build communism today. The only thing that stops us is that all of us will start doing nothing. Therefore you can sleep peacefully! There is no more stable! Pensioners buy caviar in buckets! I foresee a qualitative leap, jerk and leap. And quantitative is generally running! Leaps and bounds to prosperity and prosperity. The Caribbean are getting closer. We are going to threaten the world. One hundred and thirty centners of roses from each flower bed. We will generally reduce milk yields. Cows cannot drag an udder. The population is outraged by the cheapness. South America asks to join us as a state farm. Hurrah!
-Why are you cooking such things there, animals?! - shouted the population and just in case, changed into everything clean …
2008, Mikhail Zhvanetsky